My Printer (Why I'm a Dumbass)

Some people think I'm smart. Could be because I actually am smart, or it could be because of gas leaks in their various homes. In any case, every once in a while I feel the need to prove them wrong.

My printer is an HP Deskjet 932C. State of the art technology assuming you never entered the 21st century. Whatever, I don't print in colour and I don't care about speed, in any case we all know I'm too damn cheap to buy a new one anyway. A while back however, I was under the impression that a new printer would soon be entering my home. It was a faster and more efficient printer that I could make use of. I didn't want the old one taking up space in my already cramped apartment so I brought it over to my mom's place, the universal depository for all things that are useless. At this time I still had a brand new black ink cartridge for it, the second half of a two pack, but I couldn't find anyone who needed it and thought I'd never make use of it so I just threw it out. There came a day however where I realized that this new printer would not in fact be entering my home. Now, for my business, I need to print quite a few shipping labels, and since we've already established that I'm too cheap to buy a new printer my only course of action was to drive back to the bottomless pit known as my mom's basement to retrieve this old, crappy, but still perfectly usable printer.

Yes, it all seems like a big waste of time but in the end at least I still have a working printer, right? Wrong. I plug it in, ready to print the first page, when the dreaded out of ink sign lights up. Shit, and I just threw away a perfectly good cartridge. Oh well, off to Bureau en Gros I go to pick up one of those cheap refilled cartridges. Problem is, they're not so cheap.... $30.00 in fact. Well, I thought to myself, it's still cheaper than buying a new printer. So I go home, I change the cartridge, I turn on the printer, and I get ready to bask in the glow of a job well done. Instead however, I got to bask in the glow of the out of ink light. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that the printer was in fact trying to tell me that I'm out of coloured ink, not black. That's 2 cartridges I've managed to waste just in case you're keeping track. Now I don't use my coloured ink, but this piece of crap printer won't even work without both ink cartridges being full, so what choice do I have really?

This time, I end up at Walmart. Coloured ink for this piece of crap is $50.00. I refuse to pay that on principle, since it is actually possible to find a new printer for that price. Ready to give up, my attention turns to a lovely little refill kit, with a lovely little price tag of a mere $20.00. I'll do it! What could possibly go wrong? (I should at this point mention that those five words are a bit of a recurring theme in my life.) So I bring the kit home, pop out my coloured cartridge, roll up my sleeves, and get ready for a quick and easy task that will result in a functional printer. About an hour later I begin thinking to myself that you'd have to be at a gay pride parade to see more rainbows. I was not quite accustomed to seeing my desk and my hands covered in so many bright happy colours. Colours, I must add, that don't wash off. Nevertheless, it was done, my cartridge was refilled and back into the printer. I pushed the on button and couldn't help but smile as I was greeted with the warm familiar haze of the out of ink light.

If anyone needs me I'll be on my roof, giving my printer a proper retirement.

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Up in the sky! It's me!

So as some of you know, yesterday I finally completed my solo skydiving license. It's a dream that I put aside for four years due to lack of time and money. This year however I decided no more excuses, and while I have already accomplished quite a bit in my short life I think this little milestone fills me with the most pride. It didn't come without its price however, a couple of crash landings have left me bruised and battered. Ah well, pain is temporary, glory is forever.

Funny story to tell however, and I'd like you all to try and picture this. On my first jump of the day (which was my first jump in two months), the freefall went so well that I got a little cocky when it came to my landing approach. The result? Well, it was another intimate encounter with the corn fields. This time however I didn't land in the closest corn field, I landed in the farthest one, a 20 min walk away from the dropzone. Why did it take so long you ask, well that's because the fucking corn was taller than me and for a good long while I couldn't figure out which direction to walk in. Yes, I got lost in a fucking cornfield, while wearing a jumpsuit and a neon yellow helmet, dragging a 20 pound canopy behind me. Fun stuff.

Today should have been a nice day to recover, but instead my family decided to come visit. I think all in all today's experience was far more painful than crash landing onto the ground but at least it's over and I can take tomorrow to recover from the psychological trauma that was just added to my physical trauma.

As far as all the shit that happened earlier this summer goes, I am well on my way to putting it all behind me. Thank you to everyone who was there to support me.

Great time to start blogging again...

Well, I certainly picked the wrong time to start again. My grandmother is not expected to live through the night. She means the world to me and has often been the only reason for me to come back to my mother's house in Montreal. This will be my last post for a bit, I need some recovery time. Also sorry if I isolate myself from society for a little while.

Just a little sign to let those who cares know that I'll be ok in time, I finally sent the "fuck off" email that was so long ovedue and at least I don't have to deal with any of Felicia's bullshit during this difficult time.

Welcome back

Well shit. On two occasions in the past 24 hours I've been asked about my blog and why I don't post anymore. To be honest I don't know why, but I certainly do miss it. In fact I miss writing in general. A while back I was reading this blog and couldn't help but wonder why everything sounded so angry. Moments ago however, I read it over again and couldn't help but relate to my own words. I'm starting to feel like the old Gill, and anyone who knew me before my big move knows that this is very bad news.

Most people know but for those who don't, I've been travelling through Europe this past month and it's been tough to say the very least. It was of course supposed to be two months but I eventually tapped out and dragged my sorry ass back home halfway through, at great expense I might add (and I'm not just talking monetary).

I don't want to go into details as to just why this past month was such a soul crushing experience, I'd much rather try that whole moving on thing. I would however like to apologize in advance to anyone who comes into contact with me within the next few weeks, or possibly months.

It's not all bad though, I have two more things to cross of my list to do before I die. I have officially slept in an airport, and I also managed to get myself lost inside a cemetary at midnight. Both being very nice and happy things.

And there you have it, my first post of 2006 and only eight months late.

Can't stop blogging forever.

Who would have figured a music program would be stressful? Honestly between my assignments and exams I've played maybe 20 minutes a day worth of guitar this week. Kind of stupid considering playing guitar is technically part of my homework.

I must say this month has been particularly shitty. First was my birthday, when I got sick from bad buffet food. Then was my birthday celebration in Montreal, which was held on ridiculously short notice since my exam scedule got pushed around so hardly anyone could make it. Then there's the general craptitude of school... exams, essays, assignments, projects, sneaking out of electronic music to go for a beer at 3:00 in the afternoon... ok that last one wasn't so bad.

A general reminder to anyone who still reads this, I'm performing between December 1st and the 4th, come watch me at least once or I'll eat your children.

December 1st: Jazz ensemble, Bandeen Hall @ Bishop's University
Decembber 2nd: Choir, also in Bandeen, followed my my best impersenation of a short distance sprinter, followed shortly after by the Jazz ensemble once again at the Lion in Lennoxville.
December 4th: Choir once again.

I'm in Montreal. I'm with Erica. Hi Erica, I miss you. I also can't type when the letters on the keyboard are rubbed off. This is the most challenging thing I've done all weekend. I am also a l33t secret agent. More on that later. Good night. Happy panda.